(Warning! There will be homework!)
I never looked at obituaries until my husband lay dying, when, railing that older people had lived longer than he would while feeling immense gratitude for our forty years together— so much longer than the younger of the newly dead had with their loved ones—I began scanning obituary headlines, wondering what to put for his. When the sad day came I didn’t get to make the decision after all, and the reporter got it backwards—“Author was also Professor” (Professors become Authors to get their salaries raised).
In the months after he died I felt as if my nose was pressed to an invisible window that he had fallen out of but which unaccountably held me back from the same abyss. Shaken by timor mortis— abject terror at the realization of mortality—I kept reading obituary headlines, which deftly compress a life in three to six words.
I have always liked set forms— the seventeen syllable Haiku and the fourteen line sonnet —and those obituary headlines, rounding out a whole life in a tidy phrase, displayed a terse and even elegant economy.
(names changed)
James Woods, 40; Studied Structure of the Universe.
Now that would be a hard act to follow.
Louise Brooks, Birdsong Dialects Expert.
Specialized, but so compact!
Jeffrey Moore: Rode with Camel Troops
Annie Kung, Lived in Leper Colony; Was 94
Fascinating: but rather exotic?
Andrew Eastwood, Credited for Heart Clinic's Strength
Lloyd Sarkoski, 64, dies; Crafted Cozy Restaurants
Nice, solid accomplishments!
Alfred Bearens, Detroit Accountant Put Family First
Ellis Marks, Obstetrician Loved Time with Family.
Did they? Is someone protesting too much here?
Bud French, 76, Mail Carrier Loved His Family, Cards and Music.
Now this shows more balance!
Micah Washnoski: Music he made, Friends he Kept.
My favorite.
And, finally:
Norbert Tilsley, War Taught Him Its Inhumanity
This has to be true -no fluff in it - and suggests an ethical legacy.
You know where I am going, gentle reader, so throw this down if you don’t want to go there with me—Can you sum up your whole life in three to five words?
I’ll go first, just to show I’m not (help!) chicken:
Annis Pratt: Commuting Professor Comes to Earth.
Or, how about
Annis Pratt: Quit Teaching, Went Kayaking?
Sad, isn’t it? Or is it? There is an exercise like this they do at self-search workshops— write your own obituary; it will help you find out what you want to live for.
So get out your pencil and paper: just your name, then three to five words:
........... ........... .................. ................... .............. ............... .................
Try a Professional One:
........... ............. ................. ................ .....................
Or a Funny One:
.......... ................. .................... .............. ..................
Show what life has taught you:
............. ............. ................. .............. ………..
After all, once we figure out what our legacies will have been, we might relish our existence with even more exuberance, since we are still alive and kicking!
